The dialogue has been ringing in my head since I finished watching this movie tonight. What a movie! While the movie was playing, I was totally spellbound, touched and transported in the Wyoming ranches, so good was this movie. So vivid, I could smell it. So real, I could feel it. So heart breaking, it might have been me. After long time, a movie felt so good, so real and so sad. Words fail me but I feel it. I could only wonder at Ang Lee's genius in amazement. I wish I could make a movie like this. When the credits started rolling, I could feel the pain, the longing and what-could-have-been feelings of Ennis Del Mar as if it were happening to me. What a tragedy. When a movie hits me so hard, then I know I watched something special. Heath Ledger, RIP. You were just amazing.
When I think about it, I never gathered the courage to watch this movie till now. I did not know whether I would be comfortable watching two cowboys in love. But now after watching this movie, I could only marvel at the way Ang Lee had treated such a sensitive subject. The movie is about love, never-ending longing and suffering for a love lost forever. How must it feel to know that only if you had a made a different choice, trusted your gut feeling and feel it with your every breath. What if Enniss had gone to Mexico with Jack? What if Jack had not died? Would the story would have been as touching as it was with Jack being dead in the end? I do not know...I can only wonder...
I love good movies but I always try to balance my thoughts at the end saying to myself, its just a movie. However once in a while a movie comes along which makes me vulnerable and think about life, universe and everything. It was one of those few..I mean love happens...by design, by fate, by circumstances...don't know why but it happens...it could be coined gay, lesbian, straight or whatever but its just love by different name...why would one be better than the other...all should be allowed to blossom equally. Why should Ennis and Jack have a fear of retribution from society? I wish it was not the case in our society but then I have seen so much of ungodly acts happening in this world in just 30 years of my life that I am almost beginning to question the very existence of God too. I wish I could meet God and get all answers directly from Him rather than through his interpreters. On top of my list would be though a question from my childhood. Whenever I used to gaze at stars lying in the paddy fields in my village, I would wonder how far I can go in universe....where does it end? I have not found the answer till now, so I guess all my answers would have to wait too..I wish I could meet God and have a one to one talk. I hate myself when I begin to delve into this existentialism questions and theories. But it always happens at the end of a movie I really like. Brokeback Mountain again made me realize how powerful the force of love could be and how helpless you could be when you have lost your love forever. I guess there is a Brokeback Mountain inside all of us, a person whom we would like to come to, but of course some never do.
I wish we knew how to quit.
Thank you Ang Lee for such a wonderful movie.
