Brokeback Mountain

"I wish I knew how to quit you"

The dialogue has been ringing in my head since I finished watching this movie tonight. What a movie! While the movie was playing, I was totally spellbound, touched and transported in the Wyoming ranches, so good was this movie. So vivid, I could smell it. So real, I could feel it. So heart breaking, it might have been me. After long time, a movie felt so good, so real and so sad. Words fail me but I feel it. I could only wonder at Ang Lee's genius in amazement. I wish I could make a movie like this. When the credits started rolling, I could feel the pain, the longing and what-could-have-been feelings of Ennis Del Mar as if it were happening to me. What a tragedy. When a movie hits me so hard, then I know I watched something special. Heath Ledger, RIP. You were just amazing.

When I think about it, I never gathered the courage to watch this movie till now. I did not know whether I would be comfortable watching two cowboys in love. But now after watching this movie, I could only marvel at the way Ang Lee had treated such a sensitive subject. The movie is about love, never-ending longing and suffering for a love lost forever. How must it feel to know that only if you had a made a different choice, trusted your gut feeling and feel it with your every breath. What if Enniss had gone to Mexico with Jack? What if Jack had not died? Would the story would have been as touching as it was with Jack being dead in the end? I do not know...I can only wonder...

I love good movies but I always try to balance my thoughts at the end saying to myself, its just a movie. However once in a while a movie comes along which makes me vulnerable and think about life, universe and everything. It was one of those few..I mean love happens...by design, by fate, by circumstances...don't know why but it happens...it could be coined gay, lesbian, straight or whatever but its just love by different name...why would one be better than the other...all should be allowed to blossom equally. Why should Ennis and Jack have a fear of retribution from society? I wish it was not the case in our society but then I have seen so much of ungodly acts happening in this world in just 30 years of my life that I am almost beginning to question the very existence of God too. I wish I could meet God and get all answers directly from Him rather than through his interpreters. On top of my list would be though a question from my childhood. Whenever I used to gaze at stars lying in the paddy fields in my village, I would wonder how far I can go in universe....where does it end? I have not found the answer till now, so I guess all my answers would have to wait too..I wish I could meet God and have a one to one talk. I hate myself when I begin to delve into this existentialism questions and theories. But it always happens at the end of a movie I really like. Brokeback Mountain again made me realize how powerful the force of love could be and how helpless you could be when you have lost your love forever. I guess there is a Brokeback Mountain inside all of us, a person whom we would like to come to, but of course some never do. 

I wish we knew how to quit.

Thank you Ang Lee for such a wonderful movie.

Back on blogging world

This is another attempt of me to get back to blogging. I am hoping this time I would be more regular. Lately I have been feeling the world is moving at a faster pace than usual and I can not keep up with it. What was a "hot" news few days back, now its all old, stale news. My hope is that I could jot down all my thoughts on topics of my interest in one place and not lost over time. I do not know what were my thoughts when Arsenal blew there championship chances last year, or when India beat Australia in the Mohali test couple of weeks back. What were my thoughts the night Obama won the election ? I hope this blogging would give me an opportunity to do so. And finally, I hope I would be able to connect with few more friends whom I have lost touch with over time. 

Summer is back, and so are mangoes

Recently, an article about king of fruits, mangoes, caught my attention as finally looks like, it would be available in US soon too. After most summers of my childhood chasing this special king of fruits, I have special liking for aam. Mouth just starts watering if I imagine ek khatta aam. When I was a kid of around 9-10 years, I used to travel miles in and around my village in Nalanda with bunch of friends on bare foot in shorts and a baniyan in scorching summer heat to quench the palatal yearning of mangoes, for the khatte aam in the early summers and later for the luscious and divine pake hue aam. Broiling and tropical loo didn't bother, school and parents were dismissed as a minor irritant, gardeners and mango tree owners were just another obstacle barricading me from that taste of divinity. After marshaling all my intelligence, boundless enthusiasm, fearless spirit and never-say-die attitude for these mangoes, I would find myself happily climbing these huge mango trees and jumping from one razor-thin branches to another. Up there on the top of the mango tree, I felt like I am in the middle of heaven and all the pleasure is mine. I would invariably eat so many khatte aam that my teeth would give away. How could you control yourself when you are ensconced with all these mangoes all around yourself. No one can eat just one. Many evenings I used to get good thrashing from my mom for all this vagabond adventure of mine in such sweltering summer. However who was I to resist this unstoppable force of yearning and few days later, I would be back scouring miles for that perfect taste of khatte aur meethe aam. The funny part is I didn't even know today what breed of aam it was. To my despair, my adventure was cut short when I had to move out to the city and then to my amazement, I found out that there are so many breed of mangoes out there. More famous cousins I should say. Malda, Langra, Dusehari, Neelum, Safeda, Fazali, Vanraj, yada yada yada and more yada yada. If Malda flavor was sweetest, then Langra was long lasting and so on. It appeared all very confusing and to my horror, if I had one of these famous cousins of my gaon wala aam, my cravings would just dwindle. I could eat just one. Apparently I had grown up and grudgingly, I compromised for Dudhiya Malda as my first choice. I still loved the king of fruit, but I had lost the sight of kingdom of heavenly taste to which I used to be transcended whenever I had these mangoes. Mango was slowly becoming like any other fruit to me. Mango was more and more appearing like oranges. You got to eat since its good for health. It was all like this till one fine day I was hooked on to Alphonso. When I was in IIT Bombay, I was gifted a basket of these Alphonsoes and I was like alright here is one more famous cousin of my gaon wala aam. Reluctantly, I tried a bite and hmm...it was good, it was like a shot of hemoglobin up my spine, the taste was back and once again, I couldn't just eat one. I had to have more and pretty soon, there was none left.... I was swept off once again by this king of fruit and once again looks like my summer honeymoon with king of fruit is going to back on the menu again. Am waiting for Alphonso to cross the Atlantic barrier and come once again within the reach of my dollars. Well not exactly the same thrill of good old glory days but still, a cheap thrill is better than no thrill :-)

Thank God for Mangifera indica L